


and i feel life

by icemachine



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-12 00:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20162578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemachine/pseuds/icemachine
Summary: Well. What are you waiting for, Larry? This is what you always wanted, isn’t it, hm? Freedom from the thing inside of you?(AU of 1x14; Mr. Nobody offers Larry a different deal than he offers the others.)





	and i feel life

_ Well. What are you waiting for, Larry? This is what you always wanted, isn’t it, hm? Freedom from the thing inside of you?  _

Underneath his bandages, tucked deeply inside of Larry’s mind: an unsavory realization. Underneath his bandages, he blinks, once, twice, three times;  _ maybe if he closes his eyes, this will all be over, life will be normal again.  _ Underneath his bandages, he expects a glow that never comes.

“What?” he asks, his heart fluttering through his chest.

He watches the spirit float in front of him, the outline of its head angled toward the “ground” of the whitespace.

_ I mean, come on. You can’t tell me this isn’t what you  _ ** _craved. _ ** _ To get rid of it. The thing that made you a monster? The thing you hated for sixty years? The thing that ruined your life? I mean, come on, just  _ ** _go _ ** _ already. Get out of here. I mean it. You can live without it now. If you leave now and stop looking for Niles Caulder, you can be free.  _

“Get the  _ fuck  _ out of my head,” Larry snaps. “You don’t know a thing about me.”

_ But I do. Ugh. We’ve established that so many times now, I mean, really, keep  _ ** _up. _ ** _ I’m omnipotent, there’s no hiding from me.  _

“Why should I trust you?”

_ Well, you have no reason to, except for the fact that you  _ ** _know _ ** _ all I want is Niles Caulder. I don’t give a shit about you. But wait, there’s more! If you order within the next five minutes, you’ll get  _ ** _this _ ** _ for free! _

A snapping noise, and the bandages fade slowly, slowly, into dust, revealing Larry’s skin -  _ true  _ skin, original skin, his appearance before the accident.

It would be a cruel, sick lie, to say that this isn’t tempting. For as long as his memory will allow him, he’s craved this kind of freedom.

But.

“One thing. If I did say yes... where would the spirit go? What would happen to it? Would it go back to wherever it came from?”

The spirit still won’t look at him. Larry would think it’s been frozen if it did not continue to spark.

_ Oh, God, who even cares? _

“Answer the question.”

_ Fine. It’d just cease to exist. You’d get your revenge or whatever and it would spend eternity holed up in nothingness. There. Are you happy now? Come  _ ** _on, _ ** _ Larry. Stop looking and you won’t need it anymore. _

**No, ** Larry thinks.  **That’s not freedom. **

“See,” Larry says, a solemn laugh, shaking his head, “this is how I know you don’t understand me. You may know what I’ve done, but you don’t understand me. If you did, you’d know that I  _ always  _ need it.”

_ What? _

“It doesn’t deserve to be… ‘holed up in nothingness’. Once, I would’ve said differently, but… I’m not giving in. I’m— _ we  _ are going to find Niles Caulder, and you’re going to go to hell.”

_ If you insist. _

The spirit looks up, into his eyes, and reaffirms itself into Larry’s body. Rita appears, and Cliff appears; Larry can only think about opportunity. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i dont know its 3am


End file.
